How To Save A Marriage 5 Things You Can Do Today

marriage

How To Save A Marriage 5 Things You Can Do Today

Have you been looking for advice on how to save a marriage, but can’t seem to find anything more than vague tips about learning communication skills, not criticizing, forgiving each other? Well, sure, those things are great, but there’s a lot you can do today to make things better. While most of these steps for how to save a marriage take some time, they’re all things you can start doing right now.

Have a cooling down period!

Whether your spouse has just told you they want a divorce or you’ve been talking about it for a while, a cooling down period will do you both some good. Take about a week to get away from each other and gather your thoughts. This is no time to make a laundry list of your “future ex’s” faults, though! Instead, focus on remembering why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place and think through some calm, respectful ways to address the problems when you see each other again.

Work on your own issues!

Yes, you have issues, too. Sorry. And these aren’t just issues between you and your spouse, but issues related to any emotional baggage you brought into the marriage, too. If you’re taking a cooling off period, that’s a great time to work on these problems, although you shouldn’t expect to resolve any deep issues in such a short time.

Keep in mind, too, that you need to be careful about assigning blame, especially if your spouse has been violent or verbally abusive. While many therapists who understand how to save a marriage will remind you it “takes two to tango,” don’t start thinking you “made” your partner act a certain way.

Resolve conflicts!

If you’ve already taken your cooling off period and given some serious thought to how you might be contributing to the conflict, set aside a few uninterrupted hours (read: get a babysitter) to talk things over. If it seems like you always end up in shouting matches every time you try to work things out, you might want to do this in a marriage counselor’s office. A neutral third party knowledgeable about how to save a marriage can really help keep things sane so you can make some real progress.

Spend quality time with each other!

Not spending enough quality time together is often what starts marital problems in the first place. Then once the marriage is really on the rocks, you spend more and more time apart. Fortunately, it’s an easy trend to reverse. Find something you both enjoy doing, as long as you can chat with each other while doing it, and schedule a time for the activity at least twice a week.

Be Patient!

Most truly useful advice on, “how to save a marriage”, won’t give you quick fixes that you can get done in one day, but a lot will give you tactics you can at least try out right away. Whether you think you need a short break from your spouse to ease tensions or you just need to focus on each other a little more to keep things from really falling apart, there’s always something you can do today to get started in the right direction. The important thing is to take action now and not waste
any more time hoping things will get better on their own.

7 Responses to “How To Save A Marriage 5 Things You Can Do Today”

  1. Dark_LovexXx wrote::

    I have been married for 2 years now and I feel as though my marriage is spiraling out of control. We have a 5 month old son, so things can be quite stressful, but for some reason I somehow always find myself being completely immature and say things that are very hurtful. Sometimes I just feel like walking away and leaving all of the marital stress behind, but I dont want to lose my son. A little background. I work, my wife stays at home and raises our son, which is what I want by the way. I make enough money for us to live comfortably. I know money is not the issue, we never fight about money, and both of us are faithful to each other. The biggest problem is me not knowing how to handle her problems. If I am at work and she calls to tell me she is having a hard time today with the baby, instead of telling her I am sorry and I will help when I get home, I just get upset. Not at her, at the situation. I dont know why I am so unsupportive of her, I really do want to be married to her. By the way most of this started after the baby was born. Used to if we would argue we would just go out on a date and have make up sex, now we cant run from our problems. I just dont know what to do anymore, I know I can be a real jerk and it is always at the worst possible time. Any help would be appreciated.

    Tuesday, February 4, 2014 at 6:43 am #    
  2. xiM Clutch wrote::

    Can any one in this area recommend a really good couples/marriage therapist? If so please tell me a little of your experience with them.
    Thank you!

    Tuesday, February 4, 2014 at 6:41 pm #    
  3. Joe T wrote::

    what were some of your issues…and did it work for you???? what type of a counselor did you see? thanks!

    Wednesday, February 5, 2014 at 9:51 am #    
  4. John G wrote::

    What are the different themes of a Parable?

    Wednesday, February 5, 2014 at 10:33 am #    
  5. ademuth93 wrote::

    There has been a lot of hostility between me and my husband lately. He’s been getting angry at me for no good reason, giving me the silent treatment, and making it difficult for us to get along peaceably. Also, our intimacy levels have plummeted. Neither of us seems to care much about being romantic anymore. We’ve been married almost two years (together for nearly six years) and we’re both in our mid 20s. (as a side note: he is the only guy I’ve ever been with. I never even had another boyfriend!)

    Anyway, I’ve been seeing a counselor on my own, and she advised me to do couples counseling. When I brought the idea to my husband, he said he didn’t want to. I asked him why and he said “Because I’m afraid they will tell you to leave me. I know I don’t treat you like I should.” I don’t know what to make of that. I’m really scared for us. Any advice on what to do now?!

    Wednesday, February 5, 2014 at 4:05 pm #    
  6. encyclopath wrote::

    i’ve been married to my husband for 10years, we have 1 child aged 4.5 years. although i love him and he loves me there is no desire to be passionate anymore. what can both do together that will help to rekindle our feelings?
    thanks guys – so far so good but need more ideas

    Tuesday, March 11, 2014 at 4:41 pm #    
  7. Disrae wrote::

    I need you age group (20′s -
    1. How did you meet?
    2. What was your dating experience like?
    3. How did you know the other person was the “one”?
    4. How did the proposal go?
    5. Was the wedding day like you imagined it?
    6. Did you have good role models of marriage growing up? Do you think having had role models has affected your beliefs on marriage?
    7. Wives: what advice would you give young girls for relationships?
    Husbands: same just to young boys
    8. Is marriage different than what you expected?
    9. What are your biggest challenges in staying in a happy marriage?
    10. What are the best things about being married?
    11. What are some of the “non-negotiables” you had in mind before you got married regarding what your future husband would have to be like?
    12. How are you and your spouse similar? different?
    13. Why do you think there is a 50% divorce rate today?
    14. Do you think you should live together before marrying?
    15. your thoughts on marriage counseling?

    Thanks alot

    Saturday, March 29, 2014 at 4:47 am #